"Reese’s Party" Original Air Date 04/27/03
Chapter 418

Mom’s practically ready to burst. I mean physically this time. She’s now nine months pregnant. So she and Dad decided they needed to take a weekend away from us so they can relax one last time before they have another mouth to feed.

So they told Craig to send Reese to Canada, me to Stevie’s and for him to look after Dewey. I’m sure you can see where this is going. Reese escaped from the bus and I had a hot date with this, well lets call her overly friendly, girl named Kathy. Unfortunately we both ended up at the house at the same time and Reese had already invited the free world to our house for a party.

Does he not get it? Why do I even ask that? Of course he doesn’t. But these parties when parents are away always end badly. There isn’t a case in recorded adolescent history where one of these have gone off without a hitch. And Reese is an idiot.
Of course by inviting the free world, Reese somehow got a gang to come over and commandeer our garage for some god-knows nefarious purpose. Things got worse when they basically took over the rest of the house too and held us hostage while they worked in the garage.

There was really only one thing to do. We called Francis. He came over and seemed to have the situation under control. Only problem was that he knew the guys who took over our house and his attempts at blackmail only backfired on him.

Finally, Dewey and Craig arrived. Craig went ballistic but the gang responded by making him their sex slave. We were about to abandon Craig but apparently he and Dewey bonded and Dewey wasn’t gonna leave him. So he did the only sensible thing anyone could do in the situation: he told on them…to their mothers.

Surprisingly enough, it worked like a charm. These “mothers” came over and berated the gang and they left. Who knew? The best part – Mom and Dad didn’t even find out. I guess this could go down as the first time in adolescent history, blah, blah. But we didn’t exactly have a party now did we?